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Time to Crush Cinderella's Glass Slipper Article by McMillen & Wife The clock struck midnight for the Cinderella Browns in dramatic fashion last Sunday in Chicago. Now it's time for the Steelers to crush Cleveland's glass slipper and neuter the Dawgs with the jagged shards. As residents of north-central Ohio, I can't begin to tell you how SICK and friggin' TIRED Sandy and I are of hearing about the Cleveland Browns. This decidedly average team has won all of four games, and already their inbred, Leonardo DeCaprio wannabe fans are hanging out the back of their rusty El Caminos (parked next to their double-wides, of course) screaming, "I'm king of the world!!!" People, I absolutely CAN NOT WAIT for Sunday to get here.
Don't buy into the hype, bruthas and sistas. Yes, the Browns have indeed graduated from expansion status to being a legitimate NFL team this year, but they're not NEARLY as good as they've been portrayed. The press always LOVES a good Cinderella story, so of course, they love the 2001 Browns. Cleveland's surprising early-season success has been treated with nearly as much overblown media sensationalism as anthrax. But like anthrax, the Browns are a treatable, preventable malady... and the Pittsburgh Steelers are headed for Cleveland all hopped up on Cipro. Dawg neutering made simple, part 1: Run the ball and don't commit turnovers. Offensively, it really is that simple for Pittsburgh. Cleveland's pass rush has admittedly been impressive this season, and as a result, their secondary has been extremely opportunistic. But their run defense has been decidely ho-hum, allowing an average of 117 rushing yards a game. The teams that have beaten the Browns have all run well, and this is a vulnerabilty the Steelers should be able to exploit. Mularkey's offense is averaging a whopping 178 rushing yards per game in spite of facing 8-man fronts week in and week out, so Cleveland may as well buy a season pass to ride the Bus... they are NOT going to stop him Sunday. When the Steelers do throw, they should utlilize short, safe passes using short drops mixed with occassional rollouts by Stewart (preferably away from DE Courtney Brown). Cleveland's defensive line is unquestionably their strength, but protecting Stewart became considerably easier this week thanks to a season-ending injury to veteran DE Keith McKenzie. That means Orpheus Roye (aka, Orifice Boy) will probably be moved from tackle to end to replace McKenzie. This isn't a huge blow to Cleveland, because Roye was subbing at DE for Brown until last week anyway, but it still softens the middle of their defense a bit, and folks, the Steelers would like nothing better than to see a chewy center in that Dawg bone for Bettis. Most importantly, the Steelers must NOT turn the ball over. Nearly every Cleveland victory (not to mention their near-win) has been a direct result of turnovers, particularly EARLY turnovers. If the Steeler offense protects the ball, it's hard to envision a losing scenario for Pittsburgh. Dawg neutering made simple, part 2: Pressure Tim Couch, don't give up the big play, and control time of possession. No earth-shattering revelations here, but still worth discussing. Cleveland has no running game to speak of... they average a paltry 88 yards a game, and their leading rusher James Jackson isn't fit to carry Bettis' jock. QB Tim Couch, on the other hand, has been outstanding this seaon. Couch isn't piling up huge yardage numbers (he's only thrown for about 150 yards more than Kordell Stewart), but in the last 4 games he's tossed 7 TDs and only 1 INT (yes, that one pick was a BIGGEE, but it was a tipped ball). Couch has a knack for the big play, particularly to WR Kevin Johnson, who's logged 33 catches (5 for TDs) this season and is averaging a very respectable 15 yards a catch. DeWayne Washington versus Kevin Johnson will be a decisive battle, because the Steelers' staunch run defense is going to force Couch into going Johson's way often. Porter and company should be able to blitz Couch into at least a couple of errant, desperation passes in Johnson's direction. If Washington picks one off, viva Steelers! But if Johnson manages to snag one and burns DeWayne, watch out! Here's why. Cleveland's defense has lived by the turnover, and consequently, their offense has lived by the big play immediately AFTER the turnover. The Browns have had a lot of 2 and 3-play scoring drives this season. Give 'em easy scores, and they can beat you. But if you take away the big play, can they grind out a sustained drive? Against this Steeler defense, NO WAY. Folks, the Browns have converted only 3 of 31 third downs in the last three games! That is simply pathetic. They are facing the league's best defense with no running game to take the pressure off Couch, nor are they able to control the clock to take pressure off their defense. Which brings me back to Bettis and company, who will ultimately play a tremendous role in the Steelers' defense. As previouly noted, the Browns don't field an offense capable of running a ball-control, grind-it-out offense... the Steelers, obviously, do. Therefore, time of possession will weigh HEAVILY in the outcome of this game. If the Browns can't convert 3rd downs, their defense is gonna be run ragged by the Steelers by the time the game is over. If you watched the Browns/Bears game last week, you already know that the Browns lost for this very reason. Chicago OWNED time of possession 38 minutes to 25 minutes, and Cleveland's defense was sucking wind so hard at the end that they just couldn't play anymore. Expect more of the same this week. A steady pounding by the Bus and relentless pursuit by our defense will officially send Cinderella packing. Tims's Prediction: Steelers 27, Browns 17 Sandy's Prediction: Steelers 20, Browns 10 See 'ya after the game, bruthas & sistas! Tim McMillen Webmaster, McMillen & Wife P.S. --- A few other notes of interest from an article about Cleveland's collapse in Chicago that demonstrate just how overrated Butch Davis is as a coach. These immature sideline antics were befitting a bush league flag football game: 1. Safety Earl Little urinated in a trash can on the Browns sideline as two attendants stood around him with towels. Little joked with fans in the stands. H-back Mike Seller pushed Little in the back a couple of times. They laughed. Little missed the final series of the game because of cramps. 2. Davis was high-fiving and hugging players as if the Bears hadn’t done the improbable before, as if he weren’t the head coach who said a few weeks ago, "Most of the games in the NFL, the lion’s share of them ... go down to the last five minutes. Most of the games, you’re either protecting a lead or you’re fighting to get a lead." 3. With two minutes left in the game, the Browns started clearing equipment off their sideline, packing boxes away for the celebratory flight home. Cleveland was unprepared for a close finish so much that it had packed the kicking net and balls, meaning punter Chris Gardocki or place-kicker Phil Dawson could not have warmed up if needed. Man, that is fun stuff, folks! |
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What WILL happen is that the Steelers will drive The Bus through the pumpkin patch, and put Flowers on cOUCH's grave!! Cincinnati Browns Cleveland..........CLOWNS Yeah we got your "Browns" right HERE ! Pumpkins here. Pumpkins there. Smashing Pumpkins everywhere ! Pumpkin seeds Pumpkin pie Smashing pumpkin ... in YOUR EYE ! Q. What do you call it when two Brown's fans have sex, with each other? A. "Pump" "Kin" No Mistake Here Tommy <<< Back to Mac & Wife's
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